What the fuck is GitDrunk?

GitDrunk.com is a git game designed to make you a better fucking developer and alcoholic by coding drunk. Hell, it might even make you a better person.

The game makes those lonely weekend nights spent programming and sipping your shitty, domestic beer less suicidal. Let's face facts: you were probably going to code and just crank it anyway.

Oh no? Let's start with you fucking right off, sissy. You're playing.

GitDrunk gets you crunk by coding drunk. Let's git fetch you a round.

Is this for me?

Unlikely. Your the fucking sissy type who wouldn't enjoy an amazing, drinking game developed solely to get you explicitly drunk with every git command.

However, here we are – you might as well fire up your IDE, crack open a cold one and lay down the thunda.

How the fuck do I play?

I thought you might ask, you zero. I already hate you. RTFM below.

This code and drinking game mashup is a complete shit show [like your code], and we've designed some meek rules for this git game to keep you bingeing and leveling up your abilities to code drunk. #FTW #CodeThunda #YOLOCode

Single Player Mode

Start coding. As you run git commands, follow these rules (in a loose order):

  1. You git fetch --all, top off your drink(s) and get ready to bring it. #CodeThunda
  2. You git clone, you chug your drink. You unoriginal, copying, lazy piece of shit.
  3. You git pull, good {boy|girl}...you get a pass. #RepoReapa
  4. You git branch, you drink, ask yourself if the branch was justifiable and drink again. #2Legit
  5. You git checkout, you get a pass for acknowledging good git practice. #FTW!
  6. You git commit, you commit to a drink.
  7. You git push, fack you, drink two. #FuckQA
  8. You git revert or git reset?
    Welcome to the shit show. You fucking close up shop and take a shot. You suck bro, handle yo' liquor. #YoCodeSucks
  9. You git pull, yo' bro, seriously? WTF happened at this stage in the game? I don't know and you obviously don't either, fucking chug.
  10. You git rebase, WHOA! I said code and drink not fuck your repo till it bleeds. #ThisLooksCool

Multi-Player Mode

Working on some new team rules, stay tuned.

  1. Whenever git commit, is called out all commit a to a drink. Same as single player dick-holes.
  2. Whenever git push, is fucking bingo'd, all drink two. Did each team member test the code? fuck no they didn't, community drink three.
  3. Exec a git branch, half the team drinks. The other players probably have no fucking clue what you're doing with your cowboy coding bullshit. Holy shit, we are all fucked.
  4. Any git clone is used, all chug your drink. You unoriginal, copying, lazy pieces of shit. This rule stays the same, back in my day we quiver-scribed code on shitty blocks of granite.
  5. A simple git revert, you're all fucked. Should've sent the team to the beer pong nationals, bro. Fucking run Chug all.
  6. Who ran git merge? Should we be merging branches at this point? Ours/theirs used? Shit. #FuckNoLosers
  7. Running git rebase -i? Because you have a devops team member running this sinking ship...looks like someone fucked up and they drink two. The git history rewriter sings the Duck Tales Theme song while in interactive mode. #MoneyBags

How to win GitDrunk?


More than a sixer?
Chances are fucking less than zero. You went to Carnegie-Mellon, do the fucking trajectory on your readily available TI-Nspire CX. Geek.

Web2.0 Developer, look at your facebook stock ass-neck. Down the tubes you go bro.

Seasoned Developer-Alcoholic, with no remorse for all those folks you're going to mow down with that new ak-47 you just built? Decent, fair-to-median I suppose. You don't drink to code anyway, you code to drink.

Newb? You're most-likely fucked anyway as you are thinking to yourself, "wtf is git anyway...and how can I be drunk at it?"